"Craving is the cause of suffering." - Buddha
What do you crave? No, I didn't score some freelance market research work for White Castle. I'm not talking about money, sex, or cars either. When you picture your happiness, does the image in your head reflect your current reality? If not, what are you doing to change it?
We all make excuses, but I believe that if we have the capacity to be brutally honest with ourselves, we will begin to see that there are no such thing as excuses, only obstacles. By allowing ourselves to focus on what we think is holding us back, we fail to see the things we can do that are right in front of us. If you're dream is to play in the NFL but you lost an arm in a tragic sheep shearing accident, well, you're kind of fucked. But, that doesn't mean give up. Like the Stones say, "you can't always get what you want..." Can't play in the NFL, but it's a massive organization... "but if you try sometimes you get what you need..." So, find another way to contribute! The only thing truly holding any of us back is ourselves. Sure, bosses suck, wages are a scam, and real life will always happen, but if we let this shit hold us back, our dreams will fade to black.
And that's suicide.
Going through life terrified of failure is just plain death. Personally, I am horrified of failure. The possibility of putting something out for public consumption only for it to be criticized, rejected, and discarded without a second look sometimes drives me to the point of vomiting.
By allowing this type of thought process to happen, by fearing failure in any area of life, we push our dreams and goals to the point of annihilation. Eventually, many of us succumb to the comfort of daily life, cocooned in our mediocrity, convinced that it is booth foolish and impossible to try and be anything more than what we are. Years pass by and before we know it we are referring to our passions in the past tense. This is not a life.
I would feel remiss without mentioning the concept of success. Many of us would like to think we'll end up rich, but that is the problem with the American Dream; we are all waiting for "some day." Some day is today. I hate the cliche, but no bullshit: none of us have any guarantee against cancer, or car accidents, or co-workers gone postal. Sometimes there are worse fates in life than death.
So what does success look like to you? Do you have it? If not, what, if anything, are you doing to get it? Is there more to success for you than money? If you could make the same amount you're making now by doing something that you love, even if it takes you a little while to get there, why wouldn't you do it? Be honest with yourself, what's really holding you back from chasing down the happiest version of your life you can have?
Chances are I'll never make much money from doing what I love, that's just a reality of that particular industry, and I'm OK with that. It beats the fuck out of working for some douchebag, and the chances of getting getting rich by working for anybody other than yourself are slim to none. My success comes from when somebody says "thank you" after reading something I have written. Whether or not I get through to one person or one million, it doesn't really matter as long as in some way, I've helped somebody.
Of course it's much easier to preach than practice, but I'm working on it. If nothing else, Buddhism is reshaping the way I view the world. Being able to recognize suffering and impermanence as part of daily life is a remarkably freeing feeling. I'm beginning to feel lighter, and it's not just because my appetite has gone the way of spinner rims and the Constitution since the surgery. The past few days I've been waking up feeling, well, good (mentally; physically my stomach is spewing up more shit than an Icelandic volcano). And the reason why is because I've been winning the battle against the most difficult opponent any of us will ever face: ourselves.
One last time I ask you to ask yourself, am I working towards living my dream?
If not, it's time to start.
